I live in the kind of liberal California town where the local denizens think of their car bumpers as canvases for their overflowing identities. And it’s not just the crusty vehicles that don their cultural wares. Even clean, newer vehicles often have a Biden/’bama sticker nestled somewhere for those driving behind them to contemplate.
But one particular kind of bumper sticker, well, sticks out among the others. They are stickers like the kind shown above. They implore drivers to never forget someone they most likely never knew. Such as: Never Forget- Shucks McGee. Or, Never Forget- Chuck Gutter. ‘Who the hell are those people?’ I find myself wondering when I see such stickers. ‘And why do they want me to never forget a person I never knew in the first place?’.
I accept the need for people to color their vehicles’ bumpers with stickers, so I think they should stick around– only they should be placed somewhere that gives the driver full access since they are the ones who knew their dearly departed in the first place. Places like on the dashboard, the steering wheel, the handle to the driver’s door, the rear- view mirror, or on the hood of the car facing them. Then it is reasonable to expect that that person won’t forget their departed. And anyway, if someone needs to be reminded in the form of a bumper sticker not to forget someone, maybe that person isn’t exactly worth not forgetting in the first place.
So my sticker for these people reads like this:
Never Forget- That You Have A Never Forget Sticker On Your Car
Never Forget- That I Have A Never Forget Sticker
Never- Forget- That I Don’t Want You To Ever Forget Someone You Never Knew
Never- Forget- Please Check To Make Sure I Don’t Either
Never- Forget- And Remind Me From Time to Time!
Never- Forget- Ah, Forget It, You Probably Never Knew Them. But If You Did…
Never- Forget- But It’s Okay If You Don’t Remember
Never- Forget- Anything, Ever. Unless You Remember It.
Did You Know Chuck Gutter? If So, Never Forget Him. He Was The Best.
Any I missed?