Student of the Month

30 Apr

You should slap yourself in the face if you have a sticker like these on your bumper. No one cares.

I sometimes forget that most people don’t look to George Carlin for a voice of sanity and reason. In one of his more recent stand-up specials he railed about parents who put stickers on their bumpers that read: We Are The Proud Parents Of An Honor Roll Student At The Midvail Academy. This was during the ’90s when those stickers seemed to be in abundance. Carlin- who is thankfully our Voice of Reason even today- put these parents in their places. Do they actually think anyone cares about their child’s minor scholastic achievements?

It’s pathetic and I was happy that they seemed to be fading in popularity. Until I saw a bumper sticker recently even more ridiculous that is revamping my hatred for the whole idea behind these stickers. Driving down the road I saw on the back of someone’s Ford SUV: We Are The Proud Parents Of The Student Of The Month at the Midvail Academy. Student of the month. That is how goddamn sorry we are getting in this country. Come on, if your kid wins a student of the month award that is just a sign that he is a dunce and the school is doing whatever they can to boost his non- existent self- esteem.

Also, what ever happened to losers in this country? Isn’t anyone a loser anymore? Even if you do subscribe to this rating of kids in school crap, shouldn’t you save it for the ones that actually achieve something? Student of the month. Hell, a kid could get that reward just by showing up and not cursing at his teacher while he’s looking at porn on his cell phone. How do you motivate and get the respect of kids if you give them soft, meaningless recognition such as Student of the Month? They are not that important. You could also read that as saying: This shitty little kid wasn’t a complete waste of space this month. Forget all this business. Tell the truth. Let the kids learn about losing. Let them learn about defeat and utter failure. It will build character. Let them cry their little eyes out because they have failed. Then let them come back and try some more.

This works.

Yep. That works too.

OK. Here's the exception.

And we have a winner!


Posted by on April 30, 2011 in Musings


Tags: ,

2 responses to “Student of the Month

  1. Jacques Rorty

    May 5, 2011 at 9:48 pm

    Prior to coming upon the litany of “Student of the Month” bumper sticker off-shoots at the end of the blog, I was going to recommend people not putting “Student of the Month” bumper stickers on their cars b/c it incites further stupidity in the form of off-shoot bumper stickers. Admittedly, some of the ones you listed were okay, but the one’s I cannot stand, which are just plain and simply out of control these days are in the form: “My dog is smarter than your honor student.” Ex- My pugador is smarter than your honor student… Old English Sheep Dog is smarter….my Nova Scotia Duck-tolling Retriever is smarter….My Labordoodle is smarter….
    What is going on here is that we have now combined two ridiculous occupations of Americans: placing idiotic bumper stickers on cars and cross-breeding ridiculous combinations of dogs….in the latter case, concerning bumper stickers, people think they are being cute. But word to the wise. It’s not cute. It’s downright ridic. To boot, I saw a weiner dog Huskie mix in the parking lot of a grocery store the other day while picking up some beer. I nearly pounded the whole sixer right then and there, as I stood in bewilderment at the poor dog staring oddly back at me….So help me if that ends up on a bumper sticker….

    • RoyCoup

      May 6, 2011 at 10:31 am

      Yeah, I dig what you’re sayin. Once we have a dog called a Labrodoodle things have gone too far. Time to euthanize these unfortunate pooches and their owners.


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