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RoyCoup Book Club

24 Dec

This is the second edition of my version of “George Carlin’s Book Club Offer.” I figure if it’s a good idea, and the originator is dead, why not keep it going? (Admittedly, mine pale in comparison.) I’ll use Carlin’s intro followed with my “How To” series of books. “Hi, welcome to the RoyCoup book club. We’ve got books out the ass. Call now, call now. Here are some of the titles you will receive:

How To Kill Yourself And Die Trying
How To Hide Your Your Obsession With Barbara Streisand’s Nose
How To Turn An Old TV Into A Toilet
How To Bring Everything Full Circle
How To Ruin Christmas For Small Children
How To Insult People You Don’t Know And Will Never Meet
How To Ignore The Fact That Steven Tyler Still Has A Career
How To Fake Domestic Abuse
How To Obliterate A Floor Lamp With A Broom Handle: A Boston Red Sox Fan Guide
How To Roast Your Testicles For The Holidays
How To Inspire People To Force You Into Making New Years Resolutions Weeks Before New Years
How To Get Yourself Fired At A Company Christmas Party
How To Reinvent Yourself For The Holidays
How To Turn Scrotum Hair Into Fake Ear Hair
How To Never Skateboard In Your Life. Ever.
How To Stare People Into Obedience
How To Turn A Casual Drink Into Lifelong Alcoholism
How To Be A Whiney Bitch On Yelp
How To Change The World One Yelp Review At A Time
How To Harvest Hard-Boiled Egg Farts At The Christmas Dinner Table
How To Ignore Strangers
How To Survive A Diet Of Meat And Bread
How To Make Your Alcoholism Enjoyable For Others: Christmas Songs For The Shit-Faced
How To Make A Mistletoe Belt: A Guide To Holiday BJs
How To Turn Beer Tits Into Christmas Presents
“My Latest Devastation”: How To Write Poetically About The Dumps You Take

Call now! Call now!

 
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Posted by on December 24, 2011 in Musings

 

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