RoyCoup Sports Press- You know I’m just getting my work in right now. It’s great to be back around the guys. We’ve got some new faces here, some great guys and great ball players. So, it’s been fun just getting out there again, getting my work in and mixing it up with the guys and getting ready for the season.
RoyCoup Sports Press– You know, what I hope to do here is come in and continue to have success. It’s a new city for me, but it’s still the same old game of baseball. It’s still the same game I played when I was 8 or 9 years old. So, if I can get just keep that outlook, that this is the game I’ve played all my life, I’ll be fine. I know I’ll be fine here.
RoyCoup Sports Press– Well, spring training 2013 is here with most position players having arrived at their respective camps. So, let’s kick off the 2013 season with a good ole “had one bad year” baseball cliche from none other than new Red Sox right fielder Shane Victorino:
“I’ve had seven, eight years in the big leagues, but again, at the end of the day, people always talk about age and talk about how I had a down year and how my numbers are going backwards. But I would say this –- it’s just one year.”
“So. So Suriously.”
“It’s Serial. Surryossly.”
“That’s so searious.”
“Like, you know?”
“Serious, I know.”
“You do? Searious?”
“Serious, I do. You know?”
“Oh, I know.”
“Serious now. Serealious?”
“That is serious.”
“SO surreous. You know?”
“Oh, I know.”
“You do? Sereal?”
“Serial. I do.”
“It’s so serious, right?”
“It’s super searious.”
There’s nothing better than celebrating turning in another term paper at the last minute than tossing back some cool, tasty suds. On tonight’s agenda: throw on some Beach Boys, clean up after this latest writing binge, and hoist that barley. On the menu is a German beer “Pinkus Munster Alt” by Brauerei Pinkus Muller which nestles in at 5.1%.
It pours out a nice head which recedes soon after settling. The color is a nice golden, light orange. Taste is crisp, light. Typical of many German beers, but this Munster Alt has a slightly sweet finish, void of the bitter finish to lagers and pilsners making it just my style. This Munster goes down smooth. It’s pretty good, if undistinguished. The bottle label is pretty righteous. Check it out!
Here’s a guy that goes out there and silences the other team for most of the game. Throws up a bunch of goose eggs. You know, and we’re not talking about your Roy Halladay’s, your CC Sabathia’s, your Matt Cains. I mean, this kid has come out of nowhere. But he has a command about him that he just belongs there. You know, and he’s giving his team a chance to win. And that’s all you can ask for.
During induction examinations for World War II, potential servicemen were screened to detect any possible evidence of homosexuality. Whereas homosexual practices had once been forbidden, they were trying to keep homosexuals out of the armed services altogether. Some factors that might tip off examiners as to the sexual orientation of the men included feminine distribution of pubic hair, effeminate gestures, and a “gag reflex” test. They were worried that “true homosexuals” (those who played the woman’s part) would tempt or lead astray those otherwise heterosexual men. At the same time, there was a major backlash against “easy” women and prostitutes to prevent VD’s. Apparently, a guy wasn’t supposed to get any kind of satisfaction unless it was within the confines of the familial structure. So, I thought of a solution. Obviously, I’m about 70 years too late. But here goes.
World War II advertisement:
Hey Ladies…while your man is off at war away from your loving charms, rest assured that he wont’ be drunkenly balling any of his army mates or any VD-ridden syph whores. That’s because he will have his government issued “Cooch in a Can.”
That’s right. Each soldier will be issued a “Cooch in a Can” to screw the living bejesus out of while we slay fascism in this great and terrible war. But don’t worry ladies. Each soldier can personalize his can by writing your name on it. Or, better yet, he can simply send you the blank sticker included with each can and you can leave your loving lip marks on it and send it back. That way he can think of your loving ways while he’s pumping his “Cooch in a Can.”
“Cooch in a Can”
Fuck While You Fight