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Your Daily Sports Cliche (Spring Training Edition)

RoyCoup Sports Press- You know, at this early stage in spring training, what we’re looking for is consistency and strength training. Consistency in the players’ work outs, whether they’re pitchers throwing bullpen’s or batting practice, or as position players in their infield and batting rep’s. So far, we’ve had a great effort put forth by everyone and in the process we’re seeing everyone’s strength return. So it’s been a good camp so far.

Farrell Thumbs Up

 
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Posted by on February 22, 2013 in Musings

 

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Your Daily Sports Cliche (Spring Training 2013)

RoyCoup Sports Press– Well, spring training 2013 is here with most position players having arrived at their respective camps. So, let’s kick off the 2013 season with a good ole “had one bad year” baseball cliche from none other than new Red Sox right fielder Shane Victorino:

“I’ve had seven, eight years in the big leagues, but again, at the end of the day, people always talk about age and talk about how I had a down year and how my numbers are going backwards. But I would say this –- it’s just one year.”

NLCS Workout Session

 
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Posted by on February 14, 2013 in Musings

 

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Daily Sports Cliche (Bobby Valentine Edition)

Bobby Valentine has been fired by the Red Sox! Finally the Sox made the move everyone knew was coming. Adios! Maybe Michael Kay could give him a job. So, here we go. The Bobby Valentine firing cliche.

Well, ownership decided they wanted to go another route.  They know what they have with me but they feel like there is someone else out there better for the job.  That’s the short and end of it.  Regrets?  Mmm, besides the two I named yesterday, no.  This is all a part of life.  This is my journey and I’ll move on from here.  It was a great experience, a great learning experience.  I wish it had gone differently, but that’s life.

GONE!

 
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Posted by on October 4, 2012 in Musings

 

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In Memoram of Game 162 in 2011

On this date, September 28, of 2011, game 162 was played in Major League Baseball. It has widely been regarded as the most exciting day across baseball as two playoff spots were secured on the last day of the season.

The Atlanta Braves lost a heart breaker which enabled the St. Louis Cardinals to go on to the playoffs and eventually to win the World Series. And the Boston Red Sox, my team, completed a collapse akin to the Braves’ and the Tampa Rays came back from a 7-0 deficit to the Yankees to secure a playoff spot.

And so, as I encourage you Red Sox and Braves fans, I am going to celebrate last years proceedings by repeating what I did last year. I will be getting blindingly and angrily drunk off my ass. I will then beat the shit out of an innocent bag of garbage and in doing so destroy a floor lamp as well as the broom I was swinging. By doing so, I hope to endanger my own welfare and cause those around me to question my sanity as well as my interest in the game of baseball. Cheers! Red Sox!

 
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Posted by on September 28, 2012 in Musings

 

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After Latest Horrendous Outing, Dice K To Perform Harakiri On Himself

RoyCoup Press Boston- After his latest horrendous start with the Boston Red Sox in which he gave up 5 runs in 1 and 1/3 inning, Dice K announced that he would perform harakiri to show Red Sox nation just how contrite and disappointed he is with himself. In his start on Saturday, which many hope is the last ever on this green earth for Dice K in a Sox uniform, Matsuzaka gave up at least 5 runs in less than 2 innings for the 5th time in his career. It signaled an end of things to come for Dice K, not just in Boston but on Earth as well.

He said through his translator, “I know that I have been a disappointment these past several years. My results have not justified my overblown contract and I have not helped the team when they needed a starter with even mild capabilities. I accept the responsibility of my actions and to show that I will perform harakiri. It is the highest expression of my contrition, my guilt and my dismay over my pitching.”

While several Sox players had never heard of harakiri, they expressed shock when they found out what it meant. Said shortstop Mike Aviles, “is he going to do that in here? Like, now? Shit, where’s my iPhone?” Rightfielder Cody Ross asked no one in particular “so, he has had a samurai sword in here and he never showed anybody!? That’s messed up, bro.”

John Lester, now considered the teams ace after the departure of Josh Beckett, offered encouragement and confirmation of Dice K’s decision by slapping him on the shoulder as he walked by Dice at his locker and mumbled, “get ‘er done, hoss”.

 
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Posted by on September 9, 2012 in Musings

 

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Red Sox Nation Finds Solace In The Sinking Of The Yankees

RoyCoup Press- There have been virtually no good times this year for Red Sox fans. Inviting the Yankees into town to destroy the Sox for the 100 year anniversary of Fenway Park back in April should have been a tell-tale sign. With yet another Bobby Valentine controversy and yet another insistence from management that they will not do the right thing and pull the plug on Valentine in the bag in the last week, it has been hard to find anything amusing about baseball this time of year. Unless, that is, if you look at what is happening with the Yankees.

The 2012 New York Yankees are the 2011 Boston Red Sox. Even if the Yankmees make the playoffs, they still blew a ten game lead. Now, a peek over at the Yankees message boards even in the best of times shows just how negative and whiney New York fans are, but around this time of year it can be truly entertaining.

Before I close with what I feel is just a beautful poem by a Yankees poster, I have a suggestion for New York. Sign Roger Clemens. Do it. That is all. Here’s your “Daily Inspiration Poem”:

Oh well we tired and we failed
I don’t think the Yankees are going to the players cause pitching stinks and so does bullpen. The bats are asleep a lot.
I guess we have try again next year
We tired and we failed that’s it

 
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Posted by on September 7, 2012 in Musings

 

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Bobby Valentine’s Latest Progressive Baseball Idea Could Help Red Sox Going Forward By Eliminating 1st Inning Altogether

Boston- The manager of the Boston Red Sox, Bobby Valentine, is no stranger to controversy. In some cases, it comes not from calling one of his players lazy, but from his ideas of how the game of baseball should evolve. Bobby’s latest progressive idea about the future of baseball- almost on par with his idea to have pitchers start from the stretch or to give bat-boys uniform numbers- could have dramatically positive results for the Sox if it were ever, in a million fucking years, implemented.

Inspired by repeated outings where Red Sox pitchers give up, to quote Valentine, “three or four more goddamned runs”, the manager hit upon a new idea: get rid of the 1st inning altogether. “Look, we’ve got to find a way to keep us in the game in the first inning. But, really, it’s an outdated idea that you need to have a first inning. I mean, most people are still finding their seats or taking an after dinner dump at home when the game starts so most people miss the first inning anyway. Then, by the time they do pay attention, we’re likely out of it. Let’s get rid of the first inning altogether. Baseball has needed to do that for some time, it’s obvious.”

While not entirely shocking, the idea does present some problems. Should there be two second innings, then? What about having the game run to ten innings so that the players still play all nine?

Roycoup Press could not get an answer as Valentine locked himself in his office to draw names out of a hat for his batting lineup for Sunday’s finale in Oakland.

 
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Posted by on September 2, 2012 in Musings

 

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