I sometimes forget that most people don’t look to George Carlin for a voice of sanity and reason. In one of his more recent stand-up specials he railed about parents who put stickers on their bumpers that read: We Are The Proud Parents Of An Honor Roll Student At The Midvail Academy. This was during the ’90s when those stickers seemed to be in abundance. Carlin- who is thankfully our Voice of Reason even today- put these parents in their places. Do they actually think anyone cares about their child’s minor scholastic achievements?
It’s pathetic and I was happy that they seemed to be fading in popularity. Until I saw a bumper sticker recently even more ridiculous that is revamping my hatred for the whole idea behind these stickers. Driving down the road I saw on the back of someone’s Ford SUV: We Are The Proud Parents Of The Student Of The Month at the Midvail Academy. Student of the month. That is how goddamn sorry we are getting in this country. Come on, if your kid wins a student of the month award that is just a sign that he is a dunce and the school is doing whatever they can to boost his non- existent self- esteem.
Also, what ever happened to losers in this country? Isn’t anyone a loser anymore? Even if you do subscribe to this rating of kids in school crap, shouldn’t you save it for the ones that actually achieve something? Student of the month. Hell, a kid could get that reward just by showing up and not cursing at his teacher while he’s looking at porn on his cell phone. How do you motivate and get the respect of kids if you give them soft, meaningless recognition such as Student of the Month? They are not that important. You could also read that as saying: This shitty little kid wasn’t a complete waste of space this month. Forget all this business. Tell the truth. Let the kids learn about losing. Let them learn about defeat and utter failure. It will build character. Let them cry their little eyes out because they have failed. Then let them come back and try some more.